[ proh-kras-tuh-ney-shuhn ]
Such a confusing word, is it not?
It infers that a person is pro putting things off.
Speaking for a friend, I can verify that she is definitely not pro not taking care of business that she doesn't like to take care of in a timely manner.
She would actually prefer to take care of business that she doesn't like to take care of in a timely manner.
It just doesn't happen very often.
Because she doesn't like to do it.
But this does not mean that she is for it.
If a person considers herself to be Pro Choice, it does not mean that she is out there doing flips and cartwheels or jumping up and down with pom-poms cheering on the choice, chanting, "U-rah, rah!"
Anyway, just recently my friend's eighteen months of selected cobra insurance came to a screeching halt.
"What's that Louisa?"
Hang on, my sister is talking.
"Oh."
Okay. It wasn't exactly a screeching halt. She did get letters about the impending termination, for eighteen months.
And do you know what?
With a full thirty days sitting in front of her, she made a phone call.
I was so proud of her adultlike behavior.
And that nice insurance agent said she would help her get into the market place.
Well.
Lordy be.
She was as surprised as my friend was when they wanted proof that she was who she said she was, a U.S. citizen.
And I was as surprised as you are that she was able to locate her birth certificate.
That thing has seen better days.
Since her tax information was all still sitting on her sweet Sven's desktop or kitchen island as some would call it, she was able to successfully scan the first two pages of her 1040 and send them off to her agent.
But then the market place wanted it in a different formant.
Her agent remedied the situation by requesting a hard copy.
My friend went out and bought ink for her dead printer and loaded it.
Now it is prints like a charm.
But will no longer scan.
Did you realize that the social security office will mail you a replacement card for free?
The only other item she needed was a letter from her health insurance stating that her coverage would be terminated as of September fourteenth.
She got on the horn again and talked to the nicest young man who took care of business.
In seven days it arrived.
The only issue she had with the letter was that it stated that she was currently covered.
Well, her sweet Sven had to cover his ears and her Hunter Bunter didn't even have the nerve to bark for a flip chip when she walked in the door with that piece of paper.
But my friend did not give up.
Not even when it was after office hours that evening.
Nor the next morning when the phone message said to try back later as they were having technical difficulties.
She eventually reached a young woman who said she could email the proper letter straight to her.
My friend was very tired when it arrived in her yahoo account that afternoon.
She didn't have the gumption to break a secret code to get into an attachment inside that email.
But a day later with a fresh cup of coffee, she had her chutzpah back.
She was able to print it off.
Her agent was just as tired as she was impressed.
To make a long story short.
"What's that Louisa?"
Oh.
The good news was the market place requested my friend to log into her account in order to pay her premium.
Well, that turned out to be impossible.
Again she was on hold listening to music.
And then an angel spoke on the other end. She asked for my friend's credit card number and accepted payment for three full months of health insurance to begin October first.
I have never seen my friend so happy.
She was doing flips and cartwheels and screaming, "U-rah, rah!"
She sent a text to her agent to give her the good news.
And do you know what that woman wrote back?
"Congratulations. Please give me a call some time after the first of November so that we can get you enrolled for 2021."
I know.
She about lost it.
But that is neither here nor there.
What I am trying to do is fill you in on something that my friend has come to realize.
There are activities that one should avoid during an insurance void.
Never place one foot on the closed lid of a toilet and the other on the rung of a step stool while painting a bathroom wall.
I don't care how small the bathroom is.
Be very cautious while making a kayak dismount. It doesn't matter if it is in only two feet of water. That thing will smack you on your head and bruise your ankle in one fell swoop before it fills up with water.
Watch out for potholes.
Potholes are everywhere.
They are not just on your city streets, folks.
Do not stand on the arm of your couch to water that hard to reach plant.
And even while sitting on your deck, minding your own business with book in hand, keep your wits about you. If you feel something tickle your bottom, get to the bottom of it ASAP!
What my friend assumed was one of those pretty little yellow leaves that have been flitting around, sliding into her butt crack out there, turned out to be a big, fat, furry, spider.
Three more days is all she needs to make it without a trip to the ER.
She cannot imagine how so many of us survive without a safety net.
This makes her determined to get out and vote.
She has also decided that she will never procrastinate again.
"What's that Louisa?"
Oh jeez.
I keep forgetting about that DMV deal.
We have until the fifteenth.
Right?
