Day six has arrived. And do I have some stuff to tell you. Okay, so I get home from BS Club last night with a little bit of a buzz going on and Sven says to me, "Millie are you ever going to get us some new sheets?" And I said, "Well, I don't have time this week." And Sven says, "You don't have time this week? You have the whole week off. Isn't that when a person would have the time?" I know! That's what I thought! Okay, let me back up to the beginning of this story. It was last Wednesday and Sven and I were sleeping like babies. I turned over, as I do, and was awakened by the sound of a giant RIP. To be sure of what happened I put my foot down there to investigate and it slipped right into a long slit that went directly into no man's land. That's correct, it went straight to the bare MATTRESS! Where all those microscopic creatures with antennas and all kinds of legs are hatched. I pulled that foot out so fast that it almost hit me in the face. What was I to do? I couldn't put it back down anywhere near there, so I moved over into Sven's territory. Then he starts mumbling in his sleep, "Millie, no, it's a work night." And I said, "It's an emergency." So I had to sleep like a statue in the casket position and my ear was right next to Sven's mouth that kept making those smacking noises. Well, the next day when I inspected the damage, the sheet was officially declared, a piece of torn up shit. This has happened more than once. You see, I will only purchase the real expensive ones with thread counts into the millions, because it is just like sleeping inside an old, soft, thread bare, t-shirt. Since I spend an entire paycheck on them, I have never owned more than one set at a time and it is always, 100% of the time, the fitted sheet that goes. Anyway, I put a little blanket over my area and slept on top of that the next night. I could not go shopping after work the next day because I had a 4:00 hair cut. I could not go shopping the next night after that after work because I had to be to the four corners by 4:00 for the Homecoming Parade. And the next day was Saturday, the first day of my vacation and you all know how busy I have been since Saturday, what with my closets and all. To make the sleeping situation tolerable I put the comforter on top of the bare mattress and then got another comforter from the closet to be our comforter. I washed the pillow cases and threw away the bottom sheet and put another top sheet in the closet. I thought things were going quite well. So then Sven said to me, "We need ink for the printer too." It was as if he hadn't even heard me say that I didn't have time to go shopping for sheets and now he has added another errand? Printer ink? For the record, this is the guy who likes to sleep outside under the stars with mosquitos buzzing all around us and he thinks nothing of it. I have turned him into a sissy with those expensive sheets. What this boils down to is, IF I do indeed, go into the city to shop it will gouge into precious time that could be well spent sorting out piles of clothes, writing and working on my website. It's forty minutes in, forty minutes back and two hours to shop. What? Okay, an hour and a half to shop. It's just that I have a compulsive side to me that I keep well hidden. All trails lead me directly to the shoe section, then it curves in and out hitting jeans, shirts, jewelry and then I forget what the hell I'm doing there in the first place. Well, I'd better get busy. What I could do is pull stuff outta the closets and then leave. That way I would HAVE to do something with it when I got back. "Hang, on a minute Hunter. Didn't we just get back from a walk?" I am almost as excited as I was yesterday! Day Six. I am almost as excited as I was yesterday!
Millie Noe
October 17, 2013
Day six has arrived. And do I have some stuff to tell you. Okay, so I get home from BS Club last night with a little bit of a buzz going on and Sven says to me, "Millie are you ever going to get us some new sheets?" And I said, "Well, I don't have time this week." And Sven says, "You don't have time this week? You have the whole week off. Isn't that when a person would have the time?" I know! That's what I thought! Okay, let me back up to the beginning of this story. It was last Wednesday and Sven and I were sleeping like babies. I turned over, as I do, and was awakened by the sound of a giant RIP. To be sure of what happened I put my foot down there to investigate and it slipped right into a long slit that went directly into no man's land. That's correct, it went straight to the bare MATTRESS! Where all those microscopic creatures with antennas and all kinds of legs are hatched. I pulled that foot out so fast that it almost hit me in the face. What was I to do? I couldn't put it back down anywhere near there, so I moved over into Sven's territory. Then he starts mumbling in his sleep, "Millie, no, it's a work night." And I said, "It's an emergency." So I had to sleep like a statue in the casket position and my ear was right next to Sven's mouth that kept making those smacking noises. Well, the next day when I inspected the damage, the sheet was officially declared, a piece of torn up shit. This has happened more than once. You see, I will only purchase the real expensive ones with thread counts into the millions, because it is just like sleeping inside an old, soft, thread bare, t-shirt. Since I spend an entire paycheck on them, I have never owned more than one set at a time and it is always, 100% of the time, the fitted sheet that goes. Anyway, I put a little blanket over my area and slept on top of that the next night. I could not go shopping after work the next day because I had a 4:00 hair cut. I could not go shopping the next night after that after work because I had to be to the four corners by 4:00 for the Homecoming Parade. And the next day was Saturday, the first day of my vacation and you all know how busy I have been since Saturday, what with my closets and all. To make the sleeping situation tolerable I put the comforter on top of the bare mattress and then got another comforter from the closet to be our comforter. I washed the pillow cases and threw away the bottom sheet and put another top sheet in the closet. I thought things were going quite well. So then Sven said to me, "We need ink for the printer too." It was as if he hadn't even heard me say that I didn't have time to go shopping for sheets and now he has added another errand? Printer ink? For the record, this is the guy who likes to sleep outside under the stars with mosquitos buzzing all around us and he thinks nothing of it. I have turned him into a sissy with those expensive sheets. What this boils down to is, IF I do indeed, go into the city to shop it will gouge into precious time that could be well spent sorting out piles of clothes, writing and working on my website. It's forty minutes in, forty minutes back and two hours to shop. What? Okay, an hour and a half to shop. It's just that I have a compulsive side to me that I keep well hidden. All trails lead me directly to the shoe section, then it curves in and out hitting jeans, shirts, jewelry and then I forget what the hell I'm doing there in the first place. Well, I'd better get busy. What I could do is pull stuff outta the closets and then leave. That way I would HAVE to do something with it when I got back. "Hang, on a minute Hunter. Didn't we just get back from a walk?" I am almost as excited as I was yesterday!