Warning! This es le officiale entrance to Purgatory.

Date: Septembre 18. 2013 (Ma fille's birthday!!!) Temps: 70 degrees Meeting Place: Le Condo Attendez: Ma mere, Ma Soeur, Mon Amie Claudette, Les Chats: Maxwell Smarte et Morrie Amsterdam et Moi Hors d'oeuvres: Chaud et spicey humus, une variety de les crackers et le spread de fromage du cheddar Officiale Business: Going once, going twice.............non?  Okay, let le soiree commence. BS Topics et Conversations:  Claudette:  Well, I did it.  I got hired. BS Club:  Yay!  Whooo hoo! Yippee! Yee Ha! Le club de BS membres broke ento song et dance, singing, 'Alouette', le tune avec ma favourite line, 'je te plumerai le tete'.   It es true that le song es not le most appropriate song por when someone gets une neuvaux job après une long et hard journey avec les resumes, les interviews, et all de that shit de la bull, mais, it es le only song de Francais that we know.  Well, that et, 'Frere Jaques'.  Perhaps we will sing 'Frere Jaques' ce next time Claudette gets une neuvaux job. Ma Soeur:  So, when do vous start? Claudette:  Sometime en Octobre.  Mais, on ce next Monday I have to take une screening du ma health. BS Club: GASP. Et then un handsome jeune monsieur walked past le window avec une de those blowers de les leaves et we could only see each others lips move. I noticed during all de la noise that ma soeur was slouched en her chair.  When it lessened, I said, "What le heck es wrong avec vous?" She said, "Oh, mon Dieu.  Ce matin I had une dream that ma alarm de la clock was going off.  En ma dream I hit le button, got out de ma bed et took une shower.  Apres ma shower I fixed ma face et mes hairs.  Then I noticed that Pierre was still en le bed.  I looked at ma alarm de la clock.  It had not gone off. It was 3:15 A.M., et there I was, ready por to go to work." Moi:  That was votre dream? Ma Soeur:  It was REAL. Moi: Did vous go back to bed? Ma Soeur:  Non.  I had already fixed mes hairs. Et then le same handsome jeune monsieur went le other way past le window avec le blower de les leaves et all we could see were les moving lips again.................. Claudette: So, le other jour I went to have une test de ma pee por ma neuvaux job et I took ma mere along por to fix her aid de la hearing.  Après drinking quatre glasses du water por to cleanse ma body de le mauvais substances within, I picked up ma mere et off we went, mais then I had to stop along le way por to pee, once at ma soeurs et again at une station de la gas et then.............................. Et then Maxwelle Smarte came waltzing by les membres de le club de BS avec his most favourite trophy. he took une bow et then he posed por les photographes et then he signed les autographes.  Then I threw le trophy back down les stairs. Claudette: ............ we were late por ma test de ma pee.  Since I didn't want to make un mauvais impressionne, I blamed it on ma mere. Ma Mere:  Je suis not surprised. Claudette:  Et then apres le test de ma pee we went to le appointemente por to get ma mere's aid de la hearing fixed et................. Et then Maxwelle Smarte came waltzing by les membres de le club de BS avec his most favourite trophy again et he took une other bow et then he posed por more de les pictures et then he signed more de les autographes. Then I threw le trophy back down les stairs. Claudette:  ..........................Et do vous know what le heck was wrong avec ma mere's aid de la hearing? BS Club:  Non. Claudette: It was turned off. BS Club: HA HA HA HA HA lol lol lol lol hahahahahah heeeee Et then le neuvaux neighbor who lives up de les stairs from ma mere's condo went past le tres busy window avec une de those sprayers. Ma Mere: He es washing off all de la molde that es green on le side de le condo et he next wants to cut down le tree out there. BS Club:  PORQUOIS??? Ma Mere: He said it es causing le molde that es green. Moi:  Have vous seen his wife? Ma Mere:  I don't pense he has une wife. BS Club:  GASP. Ma Soeur:  What does he do? Ma Mere:  On ce weekends he es une jockey de les discs de la music du Rock et Roll. Moi:  Does he have une job du jour? Ma Mere:  I don't pense so. Claudette:  I had dinner avec that monsieur et his wife le last year.  Mon ami knows...................... Et then Maxwelle Smarte came waltzing by les membres de le club de BS again avec his most favourite trophy, et he took une other bow et then he posed por more de les digital snapshots et then he signed more de les autographes. [one_half][/one_half]

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Then I threw le trophy back down les stairs.

[/one_half_last] Claudette: ..............him  He was married then. Moi:  I don't pense Maxwelle Smarte wants por to hear votre stories, Claudette. Ma Mere: Well, if ma neighbor has une wife, he must have her tied up, parce que I have never seen her. Moi:  How many automobiles are en his garage? Ma Mere:  Je ne sais pas. Le door es always ferme. Moi: Should we invite him en for une bierre? Ma Mere:  Mais non!  It es too early por to tell if we like him. Ma Soeur:  This es le Club de BS.  Vous must be une member to come en et vous must be une mademoiselle to be une membre. Claudette:  He must be tres riche por to move en up there.  Vous say he just spins les discs on les weekends? Ma Mere: He told moi that recentemente he came home to his mason on le lake et there was une note stuck en ce door from une stranger that said, I would like to buy votre mason.  So he sold it, just like that et moved en ici. Et then Maxwelle Smarte  was heading toward les stairs por to get his trophy  again.  I said, Maxwelle Smarte, why don't vous et Morrie Amsterdam make votre selves useful et bring us le Shake du Jour!

Bartender du jour:  Claudette

Numbre du jour:  5 (YaY!!!! Ma favourite number!!!)

Rules: Une dollar to play, five of a kind to win half de le pot, trois shakes et farming is allowed.

1^st Shaker: Ma Mere……………resulte…………Une. (Seriously?  Such une pity.) 2nd Shatker: Ma Soeur..............resulte............Une.  (Une tragique pattern es developing) 3rd Shaker: MOI..…….resulte……........DEUX!!!  (Vous must be joking...it is ma favourite number.)  4^th Shaker: Claudette………..resulte……..Deux. (This es ridiculousemente!) See?  Ce place really es purgatory. ALL TOGETHER NOW.....Alouette gentille alouette, Alouette  Je te plumerai............Je te plumerai le tete, je te plumerai le tete.  Et la tête! Et la tête! Alouette! Alouette! A-a-a-Allouette..............see vous all ce next week.