BS Club Minutes – Oct 31, 2012

Les Minutes de Club du BS

Pardonnez moi pour la poor use de language de Francais.  Resulte de Cocktails. Date/Temps:  Wed Octobre 31, 2012 – Partly cloudy and high of 50 degress Meeting Place:  Condo Attendez:  Ma Mere, Ma Soeur, Mon amie, Les Chats: Maxwell Smarte et Morrie Amsterdam et Moi Refreshments:  (left over) Ritz Crackers, (left over)Rye Crackers, (left over)Cream Cheese with green olives & chipped beef and fresh wine swirled cheese spread. Official Business:  La final finale of who is bringing what to the Halloween Party on Friday.  Ma Mere:  Still - Trois pizzas, Ma Soeur:  Still -hors d’oeuvres of her choice, Moi: Still- quatre pizzas, Mon amie: hors d’oeuvres of her choice.  Again - notifications will be sent to the rest of les parcipitantes.

Ma Mere’s orchid plant has alien sprouts that do not look the same as the last time she cropped it when the blooming ended.  She is worried that the growths look more like new leaves and it might not flower again. I don’t believe it.  That orchid would bloom if it grew straight out of someone’s ass as long as ma mere and her green thumb were in charge.  Mon amie shared a photo of the stick plant she purchased for $1.50 two years ago.

She felt sorry for the thing but assumed it would either die or else sprout a leaf.  It has done neither.  Instead it just grows new sticks.  She’s had to repot it twice.  Mon amie is no green thumb which explains why her plant is brown and it looks like it did grow straight out of someone’s ass. BS Conversation Mon Amie:  Would you call this petty? BS Club:  Oui. Mon Amie:  You don’t even know what I’m going to ask.” BS Club:  Oh. Mon Amie:  Seriously.  My question is, is it petty if I do not return my X-boss’s call?  She needs a favor.  I tried her once and left a message to call me back and then she TEXTED, CALL ME.  I mean she wants me to help her out and that’s how she treats me?  Rude. BS Club:  That’s rude and you are not being petty.  Do not call her back. Mon Amie: That’s what I was hoping you would say. Another BS Conversation Ma Soeur:  My therapist says that I should wear that big hard boot next week when I go back to see mon surgeon. BS Club:  Yeah? Ma Soeur:   Well, I never wear it anymore and my therapist thinks that’s why I am doing so well in rehab.  But he thinks that I should wear la boote when I go to mon appointemente.  He said, “You never know what kind of a mood the surgeon will be in. Mon Amie:   That’s disgusting.  Big le tete arrogant surgeons, what do they know?  You should walk in that office in your tennis shoes.  Don’t let him push you around. Moi:   Maybe there is a reason for la boote. Ma Soeur:   When I saw mon surgeon a month ago he told me to wear la boote if I left chez moi to see a movie or anything like that. But that was a long time ago.  My therapist thinks my ankle is doing tres well because I have not been wearing la boote, but he says I should follow le doctor’s orders when I see him. Mon Mere et Moi:  Then maybe you should follow le doctor’s orders.  You don’t want him all huffy.  Maybe he’ll tell you that you don’t have to wear it anymore anyway, but just in case. Mon Amie:  Hmf……he just has to be the big man.  He has to be the one to say that it’s okay to ditch la boote.  That’s how they are.  It’s just a big power trip to them, nothing more.  Don’t wear it. Other Topics covered Sven and I are going to adopt a four year old dog on Saturday.  There was an article about my nephew on the front page de la sport section.  He kicked butt at ball du volley and led his team to a huge victory with a jumping serve, ignoring the advice of his coach to play conservatively.  Ma soeur has joined the world of Facebook.  Ma mere thinks she should join the world of Facebook too.  Ma soeur is thinking of changing her hair stylist again and ma mere believes she would like to try the hair paste that mon amie uses, Aquage. And now for the Shake of the day. Rules:  Three rolls, farming allowed and five of a kind needed to win half the pot which is exactly $92. Bartender of the Day:  Ma Mere.  Number of the day rolled: 4 1st Shake: Ma Soeur – Results: one 4. Prize: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. 2nd Shake: Moi- Results: two  4s. Prize:  a sip of my cocktail. 3rd Shake: Mon Amie– Results: four 4s. Prize: A SHOT OF HER CHOICE…………drumroll…………Jagermeister! BS Club to be continued next Wednesday.  Tune in to learn the answers to three crucial questions. 1) Will mon amie call her X Boss? 2) Will ma soeur wear that boot when she visits her surgeon? 3) Will someone win the shake of the day at the Halloween Party?