Les Minutes de Club du BS
WARNING: DO NOT ENTER IF YOU DO NOT CARE FOR NONSENSE OR AN UNBELIEVABLY HORRIFYING USE OF THE FRENCH LANGUAGE
Date: Wednesday Novembre 7, 2012
Temps: Partly cloudy and high of 48 degrees
Meeting Place: Condo – Fire place on
Attendez- vous: Ma mere, Ma Soeur, Mon Amie - Giselle, Mon Amie – Claudette, Les Chats: Maxwell Smarte et Morrie Amsterdam et Moi
Refreshments du jour: Rye Crackers, Triscuits, Fromage d’Brie , Fromage d’cheddar et dip d’Braunswieger.
Official Business: No official business. Mais, one completely impartial vote was taken on behalf du fils de Mon Amie Claudette, as to whether or not he is rightly or wrongly being charged rent money in a certain business deal. The vote was unanimous. He should not have to pay le cash.
Moi: So, ma Soeur, did you wear la boote to your follow up appointmente avec le surgeon?
Ma Soeur: Mai non.
BS Club: Gasp.
Ma Soeur: Mon surgeon never said a word about la missing boote. He took an X-Ray and said mon ankle is healing tres bon.
Moi: Is it still full of metal?
Ma Soeur: Fermme la bushe, you idiot.
Mon Amie Giselle: Well I’m surprised you didn’t wear la boote when you went to see him. My advice was to wear it.
Moi: Huh????
Ma Mere: Giselle, did you ever call your X-boss, after receiving the rude text she sent to you last week?
Mon Amie Giselle: Oui, mais, non. Well, mai, oui.
BS Club: Huh?
Mon Amie Giselle: I called her when I knew she wouldn’t be in l’office et parled avec Katy. I told Katy that I would be willing to come in for $50 per heure et paid mileage. Later that day I got une message from mon X-employer. She said, “Merci beaucoup pour l’offer, mais, we don’t need you after all.”
Moi: Pour votre offer?
Mon Amie Giselle: Oui, she lives in her own world. She thinks I offered to help.
Ma Soeur: Millie, how is your nouveau chien, Hunter?
Moi: He’s fun and kind of crazy. Sven calls him Bob.
Ma Soeur: Bob?
Moi: Oui. As in Bob Barker.
Mon Amie Claudette: I’m so glad I was invited to BS Club. I was an inch away from throwing my damn computer out the window. Do you know that the only way you can apply for a job now is online?
Mon Amie Giselle: Hey my watch lights up. Look at this mes amies! I’ve had this watch for deux years and I never knew it lit up.
Moi: That’s truly amazing. I have tres bon news. Mon fille was hired at Target du jour. She will be working pour le Season de Holidays.
Ma Mere: I have some tres bon news too. Votre baby soeur, Christianne, is doing volunteer work at le Pantry du Food, et she loves it.
Mon Amie Claudette: I have some tres bon news too. Mon fils passed l’exam de la lead supervisor.
Moi: I have some tres mauvais news. Mon ami de Jamaica lost his brother yesterday. He was killed by a robber who shot him five times, took his cash and food and left behind his widow, a son and two daughters.
BS Club: Mais Non! That is terrible!! We are tres sorry to hear that. Tell him we are tres sorry.
Mon Amie Giselle: Is it just me or is does that look like upside down men’s underwear over there behind Maxwell Smarte?
And then it was time for le Shake du Jour:
Bartender Du Jour: Mon Amie Claudette
Number Du Jour: 4
Rules: Une dollar to play. Cinq of a kind to win half the pot, trois shakes and farming is allowed. Le pot is decidedly more than $100 to date, as no one won the shake du jour at le Party du Halloween.
1st Shaker: Ma Soeur. Results, four 4s! WOW! HOLY MOLY! UNREAL! THAT’S ALMOST LUCKY!
2nd Shaker: Mon Amie Giselle. Results, UNE 4, mais her amazing watch glowed.
3rd Shaker: Moi. Results, trois 4s and a full house.
4th Shaker: Bartender Claudette. Results, deux 4s.
5th Shaker: Ma Mere. Results, UNE stinking, ever loving 4.
Please refresh votre cocktails et merci beaucoup pour joining les minutes du Club de BS.
Tune in next week pour plus de le tres excitement et les action packed adventures de Ma Mere, Ma Soeur, Mes Amies Giselle et Claudette, Les Chats: Max et Morrie, et Moi.
