BS Club Minutes May 29, 2013

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Meeting Place: Chez Le Mere – Le Condo

Les Temps: 80 avec une severe watch du les storms

Attendez: Ma mere, Ma soeur, Mon Amie Giselle, Mon Amie Claudette, Les Chats: Maxwell Smarte et Morrie Amsterdam, et moi

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Pardonnez Moi en advance por posting ce post.

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Refreshmentes: Le lipsmacking humus avec hot et spicy peppers et Chips de les Tortillas.

Could somebody get Maxwelle Smarte some water s'il vous plait?

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Official BS Business: Merci beaucoup por all de les concerns concerning ma soeur's room de la living.  Mais, apres ten long weeks avec non sofa, Le Club de BS Membres have viewed le official photographe (pictured on  on le left). Les membres have all placed their votes. Oui.  It es unanimous. 100% approvals.

BS Club Topics et Conversations:  Ma Mere began, "Du jour there was une alarm de la fire.  I looked en le mirror et thought, mais, I can not go anywhere.  I look like damn it to hell !"  "Oh, non! What did vous do?" asked ma soeur?  "Well, I heard la neighbor come down les stairs. So I poked ma tete out le door et said, what le heck es going on?"  Et he said, "It's okay Genvieve, it es une false alarm." This made me think of another story.  I said to ma soeur, "Remembre when l'ecole held le drill de la fire that une jour et all de les teachers et all de les studentes paraded out de les doors just en time to see Victoria be pulled over by le monsieur de la police?"   Ma soeur said, "Oh, oui.  That was tres hilarious.  She was tres embarrassemente.  Le whole ecole saw her get le ticket por speeding." Et then ma soeur said, "Listen to this. Last night Pierre et moi woke up en le wee heurs parce que we heard une quake du la earth." I said, "Vous did not.  There was no quake du la earth ici."  Ma soeur said, "Bridgette Luanne heard it too, mais she thought that it was une burglar trying to break ento her room de la bed."  Ma mere said, "What le?" Ma soeur went on, "Mais, it was not une quake du la earth et it was not une burglar breaking ento Bridgette Luanne's room de la bed."  I said, "So, what le hell was it?"  Ma soeur said, "It was C.J.  He fell asleep on le neuvaux couche et then he got up en le middle de la night to go to la bed, mais on ce way he fell down all de les stairs to la basemente."  "Oh!" gasped ma mere.  Ma soeur said,"Don't worry, ma mere, C.J. es okay.  All de le noise et le shaking was all de les long arms es les long legs banging against les walls on le way down.  Mais he said he was fine et nothing was broken." "Mon Dieu!" said ma mere. Ma soeur said, "Bridgette Luanne said she would have taken him to la hospitale if he needed to go parce que she had le insomnia."  Et then mon amie Claudette told une story about le plant she took from le bank display.  "It was tres gorgeous, avec all de les pink fleurs et green foliage, so I whacked une piece off et put it en mon purse."  Giselle said, "Vous stole it from le bank?"  Claudette said, "Non, I didn't steal it, it was just une cutting.  That is not stealing.  Mais, le plante did not do well et all de les peoples en ma office kept teasing moi.  Apres six months I said that I was going to throw it away if it wasn't better in une week.  Et do vous know what happened then?" she said.  "Non," answered le BS Club en unison. "What happened then?" Claudette said, "Le very next jour, it grew une tiny sprout.  So I brought it to ma mason et planted it en le dirt.  Now it es tres grand."  "Oh, that is bon," said Le Club de BS.  "It is tres grand mais it is not tres jolie.  It es all gangly et gnarly et has those legs. I wish it hadn't made it."  Ma mere said, "Louisa, do vous remember when vous rescued le plante from that room de la rest at that restaurante years ago? It was tres malade."  Louisa said, "Oui. I stole it et I saved it."  Ma mere said, "Ou es it now?"  Louisa said, "Morte."  Claudette said, "They really should have plant euthanasia."  I said, "It sounds to moi like they already do." Et then Giselle talked about her une et only plant.  The une that she saved. "It es all just les sticks.  It has no leaves et no fleurs.  I like it that way. I can use it as une center piece on ma tableau," she said.  "Vous can see right through it." I said to Giselle, "If ma mere had le plante, she et her thumb that es green would grow les leaves et les fleurs right out of it."  Et then Giselle went to use le room de la rest et le rest de le club de BS membres were trying not to laugh.  As planned, ma soeur had unrolled all de les papers de le toiletries from le roll et stuck them inside de le closet so that there were only trois sheets du paper left.  Giselle walked out de la room de la rest et we tried to act normal en une Francais sorte de way.  Giselle stood avec les hands on les hips et she said, "Who le heck was en le room de la rest, last?"  Et I said, "Louisa was le last une en le room de la rest."  Giselle said, "Louisa, vous only left trois pieces du le paper de les toiletries on le roll!  What es le matter avec vous?  I had to change le roll again! Everywhere I go.  I have to change le roll!"  Et then le Club de BS Membres all burst out laughing en les hysterics. Maxwelle Smarte et Morrie Amsterdam rolled around on le floor et Ma mere had les tears en les eyes. Et Giselle said,  "It was une set up!  I knew it was une set up! Vous will all pay."  Et then Giselle laughed avec le rest de Le Club de BS Membres.

Et then it was time por Le Shake du Jour.

Bartender du jour:  Ma Mere Numbre du jour:  4 Rules: Une dollar to play, five of a kind to win half de le pot, trois shakes et farming is allowed. 1^st Shaker: Ma Mere……………resulte…………une. 2^nd Shaker: Ma Soeur…………resulte…….trois. 3rd Shaker: Giselle……….resulte…….deux. 4^th Shaker: Moi………..resulte……..deux 5th Shaker: Claudette........resulte.........deux.

What a bunche de Shit. What a pile du crappe.  Where is Giselle?  We need some more papers por ce poop en here.

Come back ce next week.  Vous do NOT want to miss les suspenses en our lives.