Where mauvais Francais flows like mauvais wine
Officiale BS Business
Le arrangementes have been made por le pickez up de la desk et le shelf made by mon pere at le old mason, at noon on Saturday, March le 22nd.
BS Conversationnes
"All de les peoples en ce room et all de les peoples around ce world, raisez les glasses s'il vous plait, por to toastez to, Kermit. Du jour would havez been mon pere's 80th birthday."
Le Club: CHEERS!
Giselle: Porquoi es vous parkezed on ce rue, Louisa?
Louisa: Parce que I don't want por to be parkezed en.
Giselle: Millie, porquoi es votre automobile taking up ce entire garage? Et Genvieve where es votre automobile?
Ma Soeur: Bridgette-Luanne es drivezing le automobile du ma mere. She will parkez it en le garage when she arrivez.
Giselle: Non. She can not parkez it en le garage. Millie es hoggezing up l'entire thing.
Moi: Non. I parkezed on le side du la garage.
Giselle: Non. Vous es parkezed en le middle.
I went et lookezed out le door at ma automobile, et son du la bitche, Giselle was correctemente.
Moi: Well, I can not movez ma automobile. Vous es parkezed right behindez moi.
Et then Giselle got up et we both went out de le side et we fixezed le situationne du les parkings.
Giselle: Le last week I had une date avec ma husbande.
Le Club: Une date avec votre husband?
Giselle: Oui, he was stayezing en le city en ce business et les clientes cancelezed le dinner, so he callezed moi on le phone du cell et askezed if I would like por to go out por le dinner. I said, "Mais, oui." So then he drovez to ma door et he pickezed moi up et tookez moi out to le dinnere at Phitz's on le Lake. Apres le dinnere he droppezed moi back off at ma mason et then he drovez back to le city.
Le Club: Vous didn't invitez him enside?
Giselle: Mais non! It was ce first date.
Le Club: hahahahahhahahahhahha
Ma Soeur: How was l'appointemente at la Veterinarianne?
Ma Mere: It went tres smoothe. Bridgette-Luanne had
Maxwelle Smarte et
Morrie Amsterdam enside du le case de traveler before I even came out du le room de la reste. We had por to takez both de les Chats, even though le appointemente was only por
Morrie Amsterdam. Le last time he missezed le appointemente parce que I could not getez him to come out de le room de la furnace. Apres le appointemente, Bridgette-Luanne et moi went out por le lunch at le Spoon de Bleu et I orderezed les eggs du les Benedictes.
Giselle: That soundez like le breakfast.
Ma Mere: I don't care what heur de le jour it es. J'adorez le eggs de les Benedictes any de la time.
Et then Bridgette-Luann arrivez, carryezing une bottle du wine. She stopped at le counter et said, "Grandmere, do vous havez une screw du la corke?" Et then she said, "Oh, that was un question du ignorance. Of course vous do."
Le Club: Hahahahahahahhahahaha
Et then Shirlee-Bunny arrivez et Bridgette-Luanne said, "Shirlee-Bunny would vous like une glass du ma wine? Et Shirlee-Bunny said, "Kay."
Et then Shirlee-Bunny walkezed over to la refrigerator et tookez out une bierre et ma soeur said, "Shirlee-Bunny, I thought vous were going por to drink une glasse du la wine."
Et Shirlee-Bunny said, "That is okay Bridgette-Luanne, I will leavez le wine por vous. There es not not much wine enside de les bottles."
Et Bridgette-Luanne said, "I know!"
Et le Club laughezed et laughezed et laughezed.
Et then Bridgette-Luanne pourezed une glass du her wine et gavez it to Shirlee-Bunny et Shirly-Bunny tookez it et said, "Merci."
Et then Bridgette-Luanne played por all du le presente membres on her phone du cell, le famous comedian
Louis le Noir. He was doing une routine on le tube de la U, about les peoples from Wisconsin. He was parlezing about how much de les bierres that les peoples from Wisconsin like por to drink. He said, "How do vous peoples know when it es le eve de le neuvau year?" Et then he said, "Oh, that es le soir that vous drinkez avec les chapeaus on les tetes."
Le Club de BS membres laughezed et laughezed at
Louis le Noir, et unfortunatemente he es correctemente
.
Et then Claudette walkezed en through le door et she went straight to le cabinet et she removezed le plastique por safety reasons glass et she fillezed it avec le wine that she broughtez et then she joinezed ce group.
Et then Shirlee-Bunny told us une story.
"Vous see, I was on my way to le Club de BS après work du jour et I turnezed off du le highway numbre 12 ento le rue de la county P. It was le section where le limit du la speed es only 35 miles per le heur. I was parlezing on ma phone du cell to ma fille, Christianne, et I was not paying any du le attentionne to ma drivezing. That es when I lookezed ento ma mirror du la rear view et there was une car du la squad right behindez moi.
Le Club: Gasp!
Shirlee-Bunny: So I wavezed to le monsieur du la police en ma mirror du la rear view.
Le Club: Vous wavezed to le monsieur du la police en votre mirror du la rear view?
Shirlee-Bunny: Oui, I wavezed to him et he wavezed back to moi! So merci to mon Dieu, I knew I would not get une ticket.
Le Club: Were vous speedezing?
Shirlee-Bunny: Of Course. I always speedez through there.
Et then Bridgette-Luanne told une story. "Une jour I got pullezed over by le monsieur de la police por crossezing over le line du la centre. Le monsieur du la police toldez moi that he pensezed that I was inebriatezed.
Le Club: Gasp. Mon Dieu!
Bridgette-Luanne: Oui. Mais, I was not inebriatezed! I just sneezezed.
Le Club: hahahahahhahahahhahha
Moi: I heardez that it es une facte that vous can not receivez une ticket if vous sneezez while drivezing.
Le Club: Who did vous hearez that from?
Moi: I have non idea.
Et then Giselle told us une story.
"Vous see, I was drivezing to ma mason. It was just before le holiday du la last Christmas. It was en le section du la highway V, where they had just changezed le limit du la speed to only 45 miles per le heur. All du la sudden I saw les lights du les polices en ma mirror du le rear view. So I pullezed over vitely to le side du la rue. La mademoiselle du la police said she was tres impressivemente that ma recorde du ma drivezing was perfectemente. She said to moi, "Do not worry madame. Avec une record like this I will not givez vous une ticket. I will only givez vous une warning."
Moi: She probably was en shockez to see une recorde de une hundred de les years du la drivezing en le license.
Et then Giselle gave moi une du her looks et then she continuezed avec le story.
"I said to le mademoiselle du la police. Should I waitez ici por vous to comez back or should I drivez to ma mason?"
Le Club: hahahahahahhahahhahahhahaha
Giselle: La madamoiselle du la police said to moi, "Vous really have never been pullezed over have vous? Vous can not drivez away. I havez votre license."
Le Club: Oh Giselle. Hahahahahahahahaha. Et then we all shookezed les tetes at le funny Giselle.
Et then mes notes en ma book de les notes switchezed ce topic. I do not knowez porquoi, mais all du la sudden we commencezed to discuss le famous murdere en 1997, du la jeune fille who had come to town as une studente du la program de la exchangez. She left l'ecole une matin, parce que she felt malade. Mais then she was murderezed at le mason de les parentes du la host. It was une crime de le horrifique. Until le case was solvezed all de les peoples en le area were les suspects, including all du les studentes at l'ecole, including all du our childrens. Por some reason le fil de Claudette thought that who ever murderezed la jeune fille must have comez from Mexico. He et his ami had une automobile full du les Mexicans detainezed at le top du le Rue de Main.
Ma Soeur: Where did they findez all de les Mexicans?
Le Club: hahahahahahhahahhahahhahaha
Claudette: Les peoples were just drivezing through le town.
Le Club: Mon Dieu!
Et then it was time por le Shake du Jour
Bartender: Shirlee-Bunny
Numbre du jour: Trois
Rules: Une dollar to play, cinq of a kind to win half de le pot, trois shakes et farming de la land is allowed.
1st Shaker: Ma Mere……………resulte…………Une.
2nd Shaker: Ma Soeur…………resulte…….Une.
3rd Shaker: Giselle………..resulte……..Une.
4th Shaker: Moi………..resulte……..Deux.
5th Shaker: Bridgette-Luanne………..resulte……..Une.
6th Shaker: Claudette……………resulte…………Trois.
7th Shaker: Shirlee-Bunny……………resulte…………Une.
"Porquoi do they callezed it, le cockezed dices? I see les dices, mais I do not see any de les cockez."
Le Club: Hahahahahahahahahahaha
Cheers Dad.
