BS Club Minutes January 16, 2013

Date: Wednesday: January 17, 2013 Temps: 32 degrees Meeting Place: Le Condo Attendez: Ma mere, Ma Soeur, Les Chats: Maxwell Smarte et Morrie Amsterdam et Moi Refreshments du jour: Salade du ham avec les crackers et fromage du cheddar Official Business:  Time to pick out ma mere's new carpet.

Maxwell Smarte  prefers this one.

[one_half][/one_half][one_half_last]Mais NON! Mon Amie Giselle et malade.  Le green phlegm is back.  She sent us une text et said that she is on le Prednisone por 21 days et 5 days avec la dreaded Z-Pac.  C’est tragique news about poor, poor Giselle.  Mon amie Claudette is not in le pool doing le rocking horse exercise ce soir.  Non, there was une death in her famille.  C’est domage.  We are tres sorry por les amies Giselle et Claudette et we wish for healthier et happier times por both.[/one_half_last]Is Lance Armstrong a huge DICK?  Les official vote du BS? OUI.  What a shit head. What a horse’s ass. Why can’t famous people just cheat on their lovers if they are low in le departmente de self-esteem?  As long as they use le proper protection, two or perhaps even trois, if they like le menage trois, could feel confidente about their accomplishementes for a little while and we wouldn’t even have to know about it, unless of course we were part de le menage trois. Did you know that people are buying les guns et les ammunition parfait they are in une panic that if they don’t buy les guns et les ammunitions, the other guy will buy all de les guns et les ammunitions and then they will not be able to shoot back at that guy parfait that guy has all of les guns et les ammunitions?   Ma soeur’s amie has une frère in law who is stocking up on les guns, ammunitions et food in case … in case… hmm …j’en sais pas. He must want to have les guns so that he can shoot people who try to eat his food et he must need so many guns parfait he has so much food. That must be it.  I wonder where he keeps all that food?                               I know where the saying came from, 'Barking up the wrong tree,' parfait I saw mon chein with my own deux eyes barking up le wrong tree and then he tried to climb it. It is exactemente  five months to le date that ma soeur broke her ankle into so many little tiny pieces before they glued it back together. Ma soeur said she knows somebody who won't go to church anymore parfait everyone is always looking at her there.  Le blinds are drawn at Une Restaurante in town parfait le people who were going to purchase it did not show up for le closing.  Now le left side de Main Street is empty de business and we just got le right side filled avec le business. Of course it depends on le direction you are traveling.  To some it would seem that le right side is lacking et le left side is blooming.  I have been unsuccessful to date in downloading le ringtone of 'Voulez Vous' by LaBelle on my new phone du cell.  I found it under Motown, mais, le charge is $9.99 per month et I can not afford to pay $9.99 per month just to be embarrassed.  Also I would be forever hiding le bill so as to keep l' information out of Sven's sight. And if I were to hide le bill I would have to pay le bill or my phone would be turned off.  If you have not seen le movie “Napoleon Dynamite”, it is HILARIOUS, mais, ma mere does not believe that she would like it and I agree that she would not like it.  Ma soeur’s husband is seeing une cracker de les bones, parfait he has une pinched nerve et his fingers are numb and it is making him tres crabby and he is walking funny.  Mais, le bone cracking doctor said that mon frere in law has une pinched nerve parfait he has been walking funny por his whole life.

Time por Le Shake du Jour

Bartender du jour:  Ma Mere Numbre du jour:  4 Rules: Une dollar to play, five of a kind to win half le pot, three shakes et farming is allowed. 1^st Shaker: Moi…….resulte………..four, twos.  Not two fours, four twos.  CRAP! 2^nd Shaker: Ma Soeur..............resulte.......three fours.  Not five fours, three fours.  BLAH! 3rd Shaker: Ma Mere............resulte.........two fours. Not five fours or even four fours, two fours, for the love of God.

Tune in next week. Same time, same place, same BULLSHIT.