I am funding this blog site as a gift to a figment of my imagination. Her name is Milcent Noe (Noy) and she has been hanging around for as long as I can remember. Lately she has been incorrigible, saying she needs her own space, that it’s her turn to do the talking.

“All I want to do is write stuff,” she chants into my poor tired head in the dark. This is, after I have spent a long day at the office where she’s been perched on my shoulder, whispering things like, “Let’s go look at some blogs. Wonder what’s going on in the news? Maybe you got an email. Do you think I should write about cat nip?”

“Cat nip?” Jesus. I am constantly swatting at what seems like pesky little gnats buzzing around my ears and it’s just Millie. “What in the hell would she possibly write about cat nip?”

I have decided to remain anonymous for a few reasons. The first one is that I’m never sure what will come out of Millie’s mouth and there are times that I am appalled by what she has to say, especially if she’s been drinking the Jagermeister, leaving me there crimson and to do all of the apologizing the next day. The second is she is not afraid to cuss but she has promised me that she will try to keep it clean. We will see. I figure that if she pisses anyone off, they can sue her and I’ll try to stay out of the whole thing. The third is that she is quite funny at times and I don’t think it would be fair of me to steal her thunder.

Millie has sworn that she will not go political on me. This promise came after I explained that I would cancel her domain if she did. She can be extremely opinionated and controversial if left on her own. I’m trying to set an example for her by showing her how to listen to others and to try to learn from what they have to say, even if they are stupid. I cannot, however, promise that all of her guests will follow this rule, but her mother has been duly warned.

My plan is to sit back and let Millie do her thing. I will carry on with my life and hopefully get some sleep. I’ll pay for the website, move my husband’s crap off the desk and pester my son when she has computer problems. Millie on the other hand will do all of the fun stuff. I won’t be surprised if I end up delivering coffee to her on a Saturday morning after she jumps out of bed without brushing her teeth or combing hair due to some crazy idea that she has to write down right then and there. And then she will disappear when there’s a knock on the door and leave me standing there to answer it, looking like damn it to hell.