BS Club Minutes December 18, 2013

Where shitz de les bullers meet once a week.

Officiale BS Business

Due to all de les Holidays une officiale BS vote had to be taken en regarde to post phonezing le rest de les meetings en 2013 et reconvenezing por what we hope to be another tres successful year full du all kinds de les shitz de la bull en 2014. "All en favour say, Oui." "Oui."   "All not en favour say Non." "Neow."   "C'est domage Maxwelle Smarte et Morrie Amsterdam, mais les majorities rule."

BS CONVERSTAIONNES

Ma Soeur:  Pierre went to le doctor por his knee et ever since he came home he es been groaning et limping et limping et groaning. Et then ma soeur did une demonstrationne por us where she draggezed le leg behind her et made les noises et  Shirlee spitez out some du her bierre. Ma Souer:  Mon fil, Michele had surgery por le bunyen on his foote ce week. LE CLUB:  OUCH!!! Shirlee:  What le heck was that phone callez about le last weekend, Louisa? Et then ma soeur told le story.  "It was like ma phone was hauntezed.  Pierre asked moi to callez vous to see where vous got votre tree de la Christmas.  So I callezed votre phone du cell, mais, vous did not answerez le phone, Alexie did.  I thought it was votre Alexie, so I said, Bonjour Alexie may I parlez avec Shirlee?  Et then she said to moi, Louisa, this es Alexie, Michele's X friend de la girl.  Et I said, OH!! Alexie, How did I get vous on le phone?  I don't even havez votre number. Et how es vous? Et how es l'ecole? Et how are les parentes? Et what have vous been doing?   Then après parlezing we said aurevoir et I callezed votre phone du cell again Shirlee, et again Alexie answerezed! LE CLUB:  Hahahahahahahahahahaha Ma Soeur continuezed, "So then Pierre callezed votre mason, mais no one answerezed there, so he hungezed up.  Then he pickezed up le phone to call votre phone du cell et someone was on le line, so he said, Who es this et then vous said, "This es Shirlee."  Et he said, "Did vous just callez moi?" Et vous said, "Non vous just callezed moi." LE CLUB:  Hahahahahahahahahahaha Ma Soeur:  Et then later we went to le Badger game du la ball de les baskets et there stood le pere du Alexie! Ma Mere:  Clementine, vous look tres dressez up du jour.  Did vous come from une soiree? Clementine:  Oui.  I attendez une tea por la Christmas. Moi:  I have never been to une tea por la Christmas.  What do vous do besides drinkez le tea? Clementine:  There was non tea there. LE CLUB:  Hahahahahahahahahahaha Moi: So was it une punche spikezed avec le vodka por la Christmas? Clementine:  Certainamente not.  It was une tea por le Christmas por les childrens. We drankez le cider de les apples et chaud chocolate et we ate les cookies de la Christmas. Et then por some unknown reason we parlezed about le nommers du our addresses.  Ma Mere said, "Ma old rue was nommered, Rue de l'Inspirationne." LE CLUB:  Oh.  That es un bon nommer.  It es tres inspirationnale. Ma Mere:  Et now ma rue es callezed Le Courte avec la View de les Iles. LE CLUB: Exquisite! Clementine:  Mine es callezed, Le Park de la Summerville Rue. LE CLUB:  Oh, that es un bon nommmer.  Tres jolie. Giselle:  Mine es callezed, Le View de la Bay. LE CLUB:  Wowzez!  That sounds tres romantique. Ma Souer:  Mine es callezed, Le Highway de la State, 113. LE CLUB:  Hahahahahahahahahahaha Moi: Mine es callezed, Le Highway de la County, V. LE CLUB:  Hahahahahahahahahahaha Shirlee:  Mine es callezed, Le Highway de la County, VJ Moi:  What??? Do vous mean like en le VJJ? LE CLUB:  Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahaha, Oh Millie, vous es tres funny. Shirlee:  Ce other matin I was on ma way ento work et I slippezed on le ice.  Bonk!  There I was, sprawlezed out on le cemente, mais I did not droppez ma café ou mes bags.  Tres impressivemente. Then un monsieur that I workez avec came over por to helpez moi. He lockezed his arms around moi et pullezed moi up et out de la snow.  Then he said, "Here Shirlee, let moi brushez vous off."  Mais, he tried to brushez moi here, (Shirlee pointezed at her voluptuous breastes) et he said, "Nope, can't brushez vous there."  Then he tried to brushez moi off over here (Shirlee pointezed to her derierre) et he said, "Nope, can't brushez vous off over there either." LE CLUB:  Hahahahahahahahahahaha Shirlee:  Le other jour ma fille callezed moi up es she said, "Ma mere, how longez does it take por to bake le lasagna?"  Et I said, "45 de les minutes to une heur."  Et she said, "that es what I thought, mais, les instructionnes on le box says it only takes 10 de les minutes."  I said, "That es por les noodles." LE CLUB:  Hahahahahahahahahahaha Ma Mere: Les cleaning mademoiselles were ici du jour.  They said, "Oh, don't worry, we will be there right away en le matin Genvieve, so that votre place will be ready por votre luncheon.  Perhaps we will returnez por une cookie, later en le jour." Giselle:  That was presumptuous du them.  They should not invitez themselves to votre luncheon. Ma Mere:  Mais, Je suis not having une luncheon.  Porquoi do they presumez that I am having une luncheon?  Just because du ma age?  I despisez les luncheons! Giselle:  Vous despisez les luncheons?  J'adore les luncheons. Clementine:  Oui, j'aime les luncheons. Moi:  What did vous tell les mademoiselles de la cleaning that vous were going to do du jour? Ma Mere:  I just said, "Could vous be done early avec les cleanings  parce que I have les guest coming over en le après noon." Moi:  Perhaps vous should not have usezed le term, guests. That sounds like une term that une would usez por une luncheon.  Perhaps vous should have said, mes amies es coming over later.  Maybe les mademoiselles would have thought that vous were going to make corn de la pop et would be playing les cards instead.  Or perhaps vous should have said, ma main bitches es coming over later.  Maybe les mademoiselles would have thought that there would be les motorcycles en le driveway et vous would be serving les bierres et there would be lots de la cussing en here.  Or perhaps vous should have said, ma dealer es going to be here before ma peeps come et he doesn't like por to be seen.  Maybe then they would have thought that vous would be passing une bong around ce room full de la weed and popping les pizzas en le oven por  les munchies.  Mais, le term guests, doesn't soundez like that. Le term guests soundez like vous es having une luncheon. LE CLUB:  Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahaha Ma Mere:  How was le concerte le last night? Giselle:  Oh, it was excellente!  Didn't vous pense so Millie? Moi:  Oui, mais le piano was right en fronte du Oceanne et it was hard por to see her. Clementine: He es une tres bon player du piano. Moi: Oui, mais what es up avec le page flippezer who es crouchezed behind him like le back de la hunch de Notre Dame? He makes moi nervous. Giselle:  He was there por to turnez le pages. Moi: What do les professionnales players de les pianos do?  They don't havez someone crouchezed there por to turnez les pages. Giselle:  They turnez les pages themselves or else they memorizez le musique. Moi:  Well, le turner de la pages was making moi uneasy por le whole show. I could not concentrate. I kept on pensing, what if he doesn't turnez le page at le correctemente time?  What will happen then? Giselle:  Le turner de la pages knowez how to read la musique so he knowez when por to turnez les pages. Moi: What if he has une dream de la jour et he driftez away et forgets to readez along?  I always driftez away at les concertes.  Or what if les pages stick together et he turnez deux pages instead de une? Then what?  Or what if he knockez le book off de la shelf on le piano while he es trying to turnez le page?  That would be tragique. LE CLUB:  Hahahahahahahahahahaha Moi:  Porquoi, avec all de la technologies there es not une automatic turner de les pages?  Le musicians should just blinkez like this (I demonstrated une real hard blinkez) et then le musique on le lit up screen would slidez over to le next page. Clementine:  That es une bon idea.  Vous should inventez that, Millie Moi: Je ne sais pas how to inventez that.  Mais, there could be beaucoup de les problems avec ma inventionne anyway.  What if vous got something en le eye while vous were playing votre flute et vous blinkezed real hard when vous didn't mean to blinkez et le page slidezed over?  Would vous have to blinkez real hard deux times to slidez  le musique back?  I demonstrated ma blinkez.  What if vous blinkezed so much that les pages just kept on going et going round et round on le screen et vous were playing votre flute tres vite et not en time avec le rest de le orchestra? LE CLUB:  Hahahahahahahahahahaha.  Arretez Millie.  Our stomaches es hurting, vous es so funny. Moi:  Mon Dieu! What if le screen went morte en le middle de la concerte parce que vous didn't remembre to chargez les batteries? That would happen to moi por certainmente.  Ma batteries es always morte.  It es une bon thing that I don't play any de les instrumentes. LE CLUB:  Hahahahahahahahahahaha.  Genvieve....do vous have any de les pizzas? We es tres hungry.

Et then it was time por le Shake du Jour

Bartender du jour:  Ma Mere

Numbre du jour: Quatre

Rules: Une dollar to play, cinq of a kind to win half de le pot, trois shakes et farming de la land is allowed.

1^st Shaker: Ma Mere……………resulte…………Deux. 2^nd Shaker: Clementine…………resulte…….Une.  3rd Shaker: Shirlee………..resulte……..Trois. 4th Shaker: Moi………..resulte……..Trois. 5th Shaker: Giselle………..resulte……..NADA! 4th Shaker: Ma Soeur………..resulte……..Trois. Surprise, surprise, surprise!!!!  Nobody won le shake.  That es such une surprise that por once I am less de les speeches.

Mes amies, be sure to come back en 2014.  Vous never know what kind de les  guests  ma mere will invitez.