BS Club Minutes August 15, 2013

Mais Day! Francais Shit de la Bull beyond ce point.

Meeting Place: Chez Le Mere – Le Condo Les Temps: 75 degreesds Attendez: Ma mere, Ma soeur, Mon Amie Giselle, Mon Amie Claudette, Les Chats: Maxwell Smarte et Morrie Amsterdam, et moi Hors d'oeuvres: Tostitos et une dip du fromage avec les peppiers de les jalepenos et pretzels avec une dip de le Francais Onion Official BS Business:  Once again, une officiale vote was taken por to move ce next Club de BS meeting to Thursday.  Once again le officiale vote was six to une et once again Maxwelle Smarte was not happy. BS Topics et conversations: Giselle:  I have to leave by 6:15. Ma soeur: Porquoi? Giselle: Church. Moi:  Giselle, do vous know that it es Thursday? Giselle:  Oui, du jour es Le Feast de Le Assumption. Ma Mere:  That es le jour that es holy por Mary. Porquoi do they call it Le Feast de Le Assumption? Giselle:  It was when she was assumed ento heaven. Ma Mere: They only assumed that she went to heaven?  Don't they know por sure? Moi:  Well, she was on le side de la slutty wasn't she? Ma Mere:  Mais non Millie!  She was une virgin. Vous are pensing de Mary de Magdelene. Moi:  Oh, mes apologies. Et then ma mere changed le subject. "Guess what I have en le refrigerator?" Et I said. "What?" Et then she said, "Le Whipped Crème that es Reddi." Et then I sprang into action et..........VOILA!

Crème de la Jagers

Giselle: I got kicked out de le study de l' asthma. Ma Soeur:  Mais non! Porquoi? Giselle:  Ma count de ma Methacholine has improved et now they don't want moi anymore. Ma Soeur: Oh c'est domage.  Vous are too healthy por le study? Giselle: Oui. Ma Soeur:  So non more monies por going to votre appointementes et being une pig de la guinea? Giselle:  Non. Claudette:  Can vous collect le unemployment? Et then le Club de BS membres laughed en les hysterics picturing poor Giselle en le line por les unemployed avec her enhaler en hand,  après getting la boote from la study por le asthma that es severe. Giselle:  Oui, du jour was ma last appointemente.  They paid moi 50$, gave moi une last free cup de café et said, aurevoir. Ma Soeur:  Claudette, how did votre jour de shadowing go at la hospitale?  Did vous get la job? Claudette:  Mon Dieu, that was terrible.  I went to shadow le nurse, mais le regulaire nurse was absente, so I had to shadow une fill-en-floater-nurse, who has only been une fill-en-floater-nurse por une week et it was her first time there.  When le doctor came into le room he looked tres confusemente.  He must have been thinking, who are these peoples?  Le fill-en-floater-nurse introduced herself to le doctor et then he pointed at moi et said, then who es she?  Et le fill-en-floater-nurse said, she es ma shadow.  He didn't stick around por long.

Then ma soeur broke out into une vicious attack de les sneezes.

Giselle: Louisa, knock it off s'il vous plait.  Vous are getting on ma nerves. Claudette:  Le mere de mon amie was killed because of une attack de les sneezes. Ma Mere: What? Claudette:  It es true.  It was une long time ago.  Un monsieur was driving un truck de le pick-up et he crossed le line de la centre on account de une attack de les sneezes et he hit mon apmie's parent's automobile, tete on. Et then ma soeur quit les sneezes et it was quiet por une momente.

"Look what I bought on le Rue de la State yesterday, said ma soeur."

Et then all de les membres oohed et ahhed over le pair de les earrings avec les ancient beads de les Celtics. Then Giselle said, "Millie  let's have another crème de la jager, before I must leave por church. Et that es when une discussion came up about those tres petite toy mugs por les Root Bierres du le A & le W.  Vous know le kind.  Everybody has them somewhere en their masons. Giselle:  We should use those mugs por la cottage en Octobre when we have our Ya-Ya get together et make our nevaux speciality. Moi:  I don't have any de those mugs. Ma Soeur:  I don't have any de those mugs. Claudette:  I don't have any de those mugs. Ma Mere: I used to have some de those mugs, mais I have not seen them por une long time. Ma Soeur: Vous probably threw them away. Giselle: Vous sound like ma mere.  She throws EVERYTHING away. Ma Mere: So then, votre mere doesn't have any de those mugs? Ma Soeur:  Do vous know what le saying means, 'Mind votre P's et Q's? Ma Mere: It means to mind votre pints et quarts. Claudette: Hey, look at this. I have une note written en my calendare de la pocket on le date de Septembre le sept. BS Membres:  What does le note say? Claudette: It says 11:00 PM.  Nothing else. Moi:  What would vous be doing at 11:00 PM? Claudette:  I have non idea. Ma Mere:  Remembre les calendares de les familles that pere used to make por everybody? Moi:  Mais oui.  J'adored those calendares.  Remembre le time I asked ma visor de la super por le huit de July off et she said, oui vous may have le huit de July off Millie, mais, vous do realize le huit de July es une Saturday, oui? Ma Mere: Votre pere did have a few de les kinks to work out. Moi: Louisa, when es votre last day de la job por ce summer? Ma Soeur:  I haven't decided. I can work as long as I desire. Then Le Club de BS membres took another officiale vote et it was UNANIMOUS, even Maxwelle Smarte was en agreemente.  Demain would be Louisa's last jour du work et she will have une week du vacationne before l'ecole es back en session. Et then la questionne was asked, "What kind de le things do les dues por ce condo cover?" Ma Mere:  Les dues cover all de les things that are outside. Claudette:  So if votre pipe springs une leak et causes water damage, vous are responsible? Ma Mere:  Oui. Giselle: Then porquoi did le tete de l'associationne ask vous to hook up votre hose por to water les neuvaux bushes de les roses, outside? Ma Mere: He asked moi por la favore et I was doing le neighborly thing. Giselle:  Oh mon Dieu!  I hate le neighborly thing. Ma Souer:  And tulips.  Vous hate les tulips too. Moi: Je pense vous needs to get to church, Giselle.

And then it was time por le Shake du Jour

Bartender du jour:  Ma Soeur Numbre du jour:  5 Rules: Une dollar to play, five of a kind to win half de le pot, trois shakes et farming de la land is allowed. 1^st Shaker: Ma Mere……………resulte…………deux.  2^nd Shaker: Claudette…………resulte……....QUATRE!  That es le best shake de les dices en Claudette 's life.  3rd Shaker: Ma Soeur………..resulte……..une. 4^th Shaker: Moi………….resulte……….deux. "Claudette, I will make vous une celebrationne Crème de la Jager.  Non? Vous don't want une?  Fine, I will celebrate por vous."

Tune en ce next week to see if Giselle learned how to be neighborly et to love les tulips as thyself.

HAS ANYBODY SEEN MAX & MORRIE?