BS Club Minutes July 23, 2013

You're gonna wanna make a drink before reading this.

Meeting Place: Chez Le Mere – Le Condo Les Temps: 75 degrees Attendez: Ma mere, ma soeur Louisa, ma soeur Ki-Ki, mon frère TeeJay, mon amie Giselle, mon amie Claudette, Les Chats: Maxwell Smarte et Morrie Amsterdam, et moi Refreshmentes: Pommes de les chips, Spread de Fromage ala Almond de la Swiss, Slices de les Fromages de Cheddar et Jacque de la Pepper et Slices de la sausage de la summer Official BS Business:  I have tres excitemente news that may come as une surprise to all of vous.  There es une individual who es interested en joining Le Club de BS.  I know, I know, shocking!  Mais, le mademoiselle lives 236 miles to le north et she has requested that we move les meetings to une more centralized locationne. "What?" Said le Club de BS Membres?  "Move les meetings?" "Oui, that es her request.  Now it es time por to take une official vote.  All en favoure por moving Le Club de BS to une more centralized locationne, say oui." (Por those of vous at votre masons, no one said oui.) "Okay then, all en favoure por NOT to move to une more centralized locationne, say NON." (Por those of vous at votre masons, all de les membres said NON.) Le Club de BS will not be moving to une neuvaux location.  Excusee?  Oh, that es une tre bon idea, Louisa.  I will tell la mademoiselle. This message es por la mademoiselle who would like to join le club de BS.  Apres further review et discussions, Le Club de BS has decided to move les meetings to la cottage por le summer, if that will work por vous.  La cottage es located seven miles to le north de le condo.  This would make le trip a more practical 229 miles.  We at Le Club de BS es happy to make les compromises. Let us know if vous would now be able to join.  If vous say oui, we will make une tag de le nommer por vous to wear at votre first Club meeting.  Et if vous would like to pay les dues por le year en advance, vous may drop les monies en le mail.  Merci. BS Topics et conversations: This is une tres speciale Club de BS Meeting.  Ma soeur, Ki-Ki has come all le way from Atlanta, as en Georgia.  That es tres farther than 236 miles et she did not complain about la distance.  Mon frère TeeJay es also going to make une speciale appearance en honour de ma soeur Ki-Ki being at le meeting. Et perhaps while TeeJay es ici, he can fix ma mere's fancy, neuvaux  computer et make it stop asking por les words de les passes por every little thing et not letting ma mere send les mails de les e-e-z.   Arrest already, avec this need por les words de les passes!  It es difficulte to remembre all de les different passes de les words.  It es not like ma mere has les secretes de le top that she needs to keep locked up et away from le rest de la world.  Secrete informationnne such as that would be found en her diary avec la petite key por la petite lock, et that es hidden en her drawer de les underwears. Et now por some BS conversations: Louisa: Ki-Ki, move over to this chair.  Giselle always sits on that one. Giselle: Oh ma favourite chair es empty.  Tres bon. Louisa:  Guess where mon husband went du jour? Ma Mere:  Ho Chunk. Louisa:  Non.  Costco. Ki-Ki:  What es le grand deal about that? Moi:  Pierre es addicted to le Store. Louisa:  Today he went to buy les napkins. Giselle:  He went all de la way to Costco por les napkins? Louisa:  Oui, mais he will come home avec more than just les napkins. Je pense he will end  up in Costco rehab some jour. Giselle:  I don't have une ship de la member por Costco.  Do vous? Moi: Non.  I have enough de ma own problems et I don't want anymore habits that I can not arrest. Ma Mere: It doesn't pay por une personne who lives all alone to pay la ship de la membre.  Everything es por les grand crowds. Ki-Ki:  We went out por lunch du jour et then ma mere et moi played une de those machines where vous push les buttons por to win les monies. Moi:  Did vous win les monies? Ki-Ki: Non. Giselle:  Je suis jealous. Vous were out to lunch et I was at le hospital por mon husband's procedure. Moi:  What kind de la procedure? Giselle:  Une colonoscopy.  Et non Millie, before vous even ask, we did not go shopping après he was fini, like vous et Sven did.  Et non he did not buy moi neuvaux boots por to ski or himself une neuvaux basketball et then stop to have une bierre on le way home et then have non idea where all de that neuvaux stuff  came from le next weekend, like Sven did when he had his procedure. Louisa:  Did he say, "Quel heur et il?" every deux minutes? That es what Pierre did après his procedure.  Then I would say, "It es noon."  Et he would say, "Oh."  Et then he would say, "Quel heur et il?" Et I would say, "It es still noon."  Et he would say, "Oh."  Et then he would say, "Quel heur et il?"  Et I would say, "It es une minute après noon," and he would say, "Oh." Moi:  Excusee Louisa, mais that es more than every deux minutes. Et then mon frère TeeJay walked en le door.  "Bonjour TeeJay," said all de les membres de le Club de BS. Then he gave all de les membres les hugs.  Apres that he tried on les glasses de la soleil that were lying on le counter.  They were les glasses de soleil that ma soeur-en-law, MiMi left behind le last week when all le fam damille was en town por une extended visit. I said, "See if vous can say e-x-a-c-t-l-y le way MiMi says e-x-a-c-t-l-y.  Maybe avec her glasses on vous will be able to do it."  TeeJay said, "Mais, I don't know how MiMi says exactly."  I said, "Well she doesn't say it like that.  It es more like this.  Let moi have les glasses."  So I put them on et tried, "E-x-a-a-a-a-c-t-l-y.  That is how she says it."  Et then all de les membres de le Club de BS said, "Non, that es not right, Millie.  Vous did not say it like MiMi."  So then I passed les glasses over to Ki-Ki, she tried to say it, et we said, "Non."  Et then Ki-Ki passed les glasses over to Giselle, she tried to say it, et we said, "Non."  Et then Giselle passed les glasses over to Louisa, she tried to say it, et we said, "Non." Et then Louisa passed les glasses over to Ma Mere, she tried to say it, et we said, "Non."  Et then ma mere passed les glasses over to Claudette, who had just walked en le door et just poured herself une glass de wine en le plasitque por safety purposes glass.  [one_half]Claudette tried to say it, et we said, "Non."  Et then TeeJay said, "Es this what vous do at Le Club de BS?"  Et I said, "We are not talking about Voodoo."  Et then TeeJay said, "Ma Mere, let's go et look at votre computer to see if we can fix it.  Vous needs to get back onto le Inter Web."  Et then le rest de les membres parlezed on about who es amies avec who on le Book de la Face.  Giselle et Ki-Ki see les commentes mais perhaps they are not les amies.  Giselle said, "What if vous amie moi at le same time that I amie vous?  What will happen? Will le whole Inter Web blow up?"  Et then  TeeJay et Ma Mere came out de la room de le computer et announced that le mere's computer es all fixed.  Immediatemente le tete de la moose came out et shots de les jagers were poured en celebrationne.[/one_half] [one_half_last][/one_half_last] Then la news about le neuvaux enfante de la famille de royale was discussed.  Some de les membres are malade to morte de le news et wish they would parlez about something more importante et some de les membres said they don't care, they like all de les enfantes et it es nice to hear le bon news por une change.  Et then I said, "Je pense that perhaps we are related to la famille de la royal.  Have vous seen la queen lately?  She looks just like Grandmere Roz did.  I am certainmente that la royale blood es flowing through mes veins."  TeeJay said, "What about Grandpere Harry's pere?  We don't even know who he was.  Perhaps he was of la royale blood."  Claudette said, "Vous don't know who votre, grandpere's pere was?"  Ma mere said, "Non, ma pere-en-law was deserted when he was jeune et he was raised by le Schwammes."  I said, "Hold on une seconde.  Je suis trying to take les notes.  How do vous spell Schwamme?"  TeeJay said, "It es spelled just like le Schwamme River."  Then Louisa said, "Giselle what is that LOL thing that votre fil does?"  Giselle said, "Oh, he thinks he es tres funny.  He does not like le LOL.  He says that if les peoples used LOL like they do on le 'InterWeb' they would sound like this, 'I made une egg por breakfast ce matin. LOL. Hahahahahahahahahah.  I am going to le store de les groceries, LOL.  Hahahahahahaha.  Et then Louisa told une story about un monsieur who was on le news.  "He was hit on le tete et went ento une acoma et when he came too he could only parlez en Swiss et he could no longer parlez en Englais.  Mais le strange thing was he had never been able to parlez en Swiss before le knock on le tete."  Et then ma mere said, "See, that is porquoi I believe en le carnation du re-en." Et then I said, "I am sure that I was Francais in une life de ma past.  That is porquoi I can parlez le language tres bon avec only studying it por cinq years en l'ecole de middle et l'ecole du high."  Et then Giselle rolled les eyes at moi es said, "Oh, p-a-leeeeze."  Et then TeeJay put on some music by les Freres de les Avettes.  They sang le words, "Adorez we to parlez about les subjectes we ne sais pas."  Por those of vous who have not taken ma 'Loretta Stone Class de Francais,' (not to be confused avec, The Rosetta Stone School of Language) I will translate les lyrics ento Englais. Le song says, 'We love to talk on things we don't know about.'

Et then it was time por le Shake du jour

Bartender du jour:  Ma Mere Numbre du jour:  4 Rules: Une dollar to play, five of a kind to win half de le pot, trois shakes et farming de la land is allowed. 1^st Shaker: Louisa……………resulte…………trois.  "C'est domage ma soeur." 2^nd Shaker: Ma Mere…………resulte…….une.  "C'est tragique, ma mere." 3rd Shaker: Claudette................. resulte deux. "C'est pathetique, mon amie." 4th Shaker: TeeJay………..resulte……..first shake zero ("C'est ridiculous mon frère.") second shake Trois ("Trois fours, et une mason that es full, too bad it means nada, mon frère.") third shake......................................OMD!!!!!!!!!!! OUI!!!  IT ES TRUE!!!  MON FRERE WON LE SHAKE DU JOUR!!!  Maxwelle Smarte et Morrie Amsterdam OFFICIALLY CALLED IT UNE OFFICIALE WIN!!!!!

How much monies did he win?  E-X-A-A-A-A-C-T-L-Y 47$

  [one_half][/one_half] [one_half_last] Well, après all de les excitementes por le lucky winner, et après le lucky winner bought une celebrationne round por all de les Membres de le Club de BS, le last three shakers, as in moi, Ki-Ki, et Giselle shook les dices por to see if we could win half de la depleted pot de les monies.  Mais, alas, it was not to be. Let moi just say, Le Club de BS continued ento le soir, WAY past le normal heur, et une bon time was had by all, mais I can NOT read mes notes to report le rest de les details.  Et MiMi, do not to worry, I will send votre LUCKY glasses de le soleil to vous en le mail. [/one_half_last]

Tune in ce next week por to see if le personne du interest es still interested en joining le Club de BS now that Le Club de BS Membres have so graciously compromised et agreed to move to une more centralized locationne.