Beware: There is nothing but complete disregard for a lot of things on a lot of levels inside this post.
Date: Wednesday April 3rd, 2013
Temps: 42....holyshitnshinola .... it's getting warm
Meeting Place: Le Condo - Chez Le Mere
Attendez: Ma mere, Ma soeur, Mon Amie Claudette,
Les Chats: Maxwell Smarte et Morrie Amsterdam, et moi
Official Business: It is official, le Soiree du les Adultes will be held at
Timmer's Pizzaria, on Saturday le 13th
. Apres
le soiree we will stay at une sweet, suite (une room won by ma lucky mere who is donating it to le cause) por some rest de la beauty before returning home on le 14th. Le rest de les details will be covered at le next BS meeting.
BS Topics et conversations: Ma soeur began by saying, "I filled out une questionnaire about les sales du les garages, ce matin." "What kind of questions are on une questionnaire about les sales du les garages?" asked le BS membres. "Well,
'How far would vous travel por une sale de le garage?' 'How often do vous go to les sales de les garages?' 'What do vous look for en les sales de les garages?' Et things like that
." This of course could only lead us in one direction et soon we began to reminisce about that une tres special jour, une long, long time ago. Le Jour we went
Garage Shaling. Mais non, that is not une mispellmente.
It was une tres beau matin de Saturday. It commenced just like any other tres beau matin de Saturday. Mais on this matin de Saturday we were going to go to les sales du les garages. So ma mere, ma soeur, ma soeur-en-law Marguerite et moi got into le automobile et we drove to town por le grand weekend de les sales de les garages, en search de les valuable items which were all displayed on les horses de les saws, avec les particle boards on top. They were inside les garages, on les lawns et en les driveways. Apres visting about five de les sales de les garages, ma soeur said, "Je suis hungry." Et then I said, "Je suis starving." Et then ma soeur-en-law Margerite said, "Je suis, famished." Et then ma mere said, "Je suis feeling faint." So we got back into le automobile et we drove to our most favourite restaraunte on le lake et we all ordered les pommes that were hashed, avec fromage du Swiss et les onions, et les Marys that were bloody. Et Fitz said to us, "Do vous mademoiselles prefere les chasers du les bierres avec les Marys that are bloody?" Et we said, "Oui." So we all ate all de les pommes that were hashed, avec le fromage du Swiss et les onions, et we all drank all de les Marys that were bloody et les chasers du les bierres. Et then Fitz said to us, "Do vous mademoiselles prefere another round de les Marys that are bloody?" Et we said, "Oui." Et then Fitz said to us, "Do vous mademoiselles prefere les chasers du les bierres avec les Marys that are bloody?" Et we said, "Oui." Et then après that I am not por certainmente, mais I do believe that perhaps we had another conversation avec Fitz just like le last deux et we may have had another round de les Marys that were bloody et we may have said "oui," if Fitz asked if we wanted les chasers du les bierres avec les Marys that were bloody. Et then I remember le next thing. It was le bill. "Mon Dieux!!" we exclaimed. "Porquoi is ce bill so grand? All we ate were les pommes that were hashed, avec le fromage du Swiss et les onions." Et then Fitz said to us, "Vous mademoiselles have une grand bill from le bar." Et we said, "Oh." Apres that we did not go home to our masons. Mais non. That is when we began our
Garage Shaling. Et that is le very jour that I purchased une tricycle avec une broken seat, une grand wheels avec les broken pedals, une beautiful platter du silver avec une picture de un skeleton de une fish, por mon sweet Sven et une spreader de les fertilizers avec une hole en it, which later, when mon sweet Sven used it, it caused une wilde scene en mon yard avec Sven running as vite as he could in une pattern de la zig et la zag, trying to stay ahead de les fertilzers that were falling tres vite out de le bottom de la spreader en le grand hole. This later caused le same wilde pattern de la zig et la zag en le grasse in mon yard. Le next matin mon sweet Sven said to moi, "Millie, where in le hell did vous get such une ugly platter du silver avec une picture de un skeleton de une fish?" Et right après that, ma soeur-en-law Marguerite called moi on le telephone et she said, "Millie, I had to throw away all de les clothes that I purchased por mes children, parce que they were full de les holes et les stains. I did not see les holes et les stains when I bought them!! Did vous see them?" I said, "Non." I said to ma soeur who was seated next to moi at le Club de BS, "So how did vous answer all de les questions on le questionnaire?"
Et ma soeur said, "I wrote, I do not attendez les sales de les garages anymore."
Then I said, "Ma mere, I like votre necklace." Et ma mere said, "Vous gave it to moi." Et I said, "Well I have tres bon taste en les necklaces." Next we complained about mon amie Giselle por not coming to le Club de BS again, parce que she is being tres responsible et caring et helping her mere après her mere's accidente when she fell out de la bed while reaching por le necklace de la alertez de la life. Then ma mere gasped when she noticed une cloud de les particles de dust circling en le air en le bright sunlight above her après I hit le arm de mon chair. Apres that we had une conversation concerning who Angelina Joli was married to before she was married to Billy Bob Thorton et Brad Pitt. I looked it up on my phone du cell et guess what? She was married to Johnny Lee Miller. We wondered how she could marry deux messieurs avec trois nommers et then we wondered porquoi Brad Pitt doesn't say his middle nommer et what is his middle nommer anyway? Then ma soeur said she could not remember who Billy Bob Thorton was et she had been picturing Tommy Lee Jones le whole time. Et then it got tres confusemente avec all de les Billy Bobs, Johnny Lees et Tommy Lees et we don't even know any Johnny Lees except por Johnny Lee Hooker. Then mon amie Claudette arrivez through le side door et she poured herself une glass du vine en her plastique por safety purposes wine glass. I said, "Claudette do vous know?" Et she stopped moi before I could finish mon sentence et she said, "I can't help vous, parce que I don't know anybody on le television." Et I said, "Well they are en les movies." Mais Claudette changed le subject et told une story about le last weekend when she et her husband were driving through le town et le monsieur de la police pulled them over. Le monsieur de la police said, " Do vous deux know porquoi I pulled vous over?" Et they said, "Mais non we do not." Le monsieur de la police said, "I pulled vous deux over parce que vous are driving en le dark without les lights." Et then Claudette said that when le monsieur de la police drove away that she et her husband just sat en le automobile on le side du la road et they laughed et they laughed une crazy high pitched laugh, parce que they have been losing their minds du late et are almost officially insane. Et then Claudette said, "Do vous know what mon husband said then?" Et we said, "Non." Et Claudette said, "Mon husband said 'Well this will be le first et le last time we will ever be pulled over by une monsieur de la police et we will be une hundred percent sober du stark." Then ma soeur said, "Hey Claudette, did vous quit votre class de les aerobics en le water?" Et Claudette said, "Oui. I could not afford to pay all de les monies et then not attendez les classes de les aerobics en le water. It's better por moi to come to le Club de BS on soirs de les Wednesdays. It only costs moi une dollare."
And then it was time por le Shake du Jour
Bartender du jour: Ma Soeur
Numbre du jour: 4
Rules: Une dollar to play, five of a kind to win half de le pot, trois shakes et farming is allowed.
1st Shaker: Ma Soeur……………resulte…………une four.
2nd Shaker: Claudette…………resulte…….trois fours.
3rd Shaker: Ma Mere
………..resulte……..deux fours.
4th Shaker: Moi………..resulte……..deux fours.
LE POT THICKENS!!!!!!!!!!
Check in next week to see if Giselle is STILL being Mademoiselle Responsible et find out if anybody will EVER win le ever lovin' MILLION DOLLAR FN' POT!
